Bleeding Heart
by InHerVein
Summary: Jax Teller is gone and Wendy's whole world has been turned inside out. Can she survive the news?
1. Chapter 1

Wendy did her best to keep her mind far from the last conversation she had with Jax, no matter how heavy it had seemed to weigh on her subconscious. The last words he had spoken to her and that faraway look in his eyes she had never seen like the way she had earlier at Teller-Morrow. She knew something was wrong, but she knew she couldn't dwell on it too much; Jax had been through hell and back again in such a short time. She couldn't let the sympathy she felt deep in her heart get to her because that's when all would crash down on her. She needed to rest her eyes and let the thoughts slip away as she focused on her breathing, slipping her hand across the center console to find Nero's beside her. With a smile, she glanced in his direction and she knew in that moment everything was fine—all would be ok.

"Wendy. We're here." Nero's voice whispered in her ear. She woke with a startle, not realizing she had fallen asleep on the ride. She lifted her eyes, noticing the clock as Nero shut off the car. The ride out to Nero's farm didn't take nearly as long as Wendy had suspected; even Thomas and Abel stayed quiet in their car seats for most of the two hour long trip. Wendy had started to realize even before today how easily little baby Thomas gave into sleep when he rode in the car.

She slowly stepped out of the car, stretching out as she felt the stiffness settled into her muscles from the awkward position she had fallen to sleep in, the feeling leaving her body as she moved underneath the warmth of the sun. She lifted her face up to meet the sun, her dirty blonde locks falling over her shoulders as she inhaled the fresh air of the countryside, bringing a smile to her face. She felt happy in that instant, knowing all was well in her world.

Wendy glanced over her shoulder as she heard Abel call out her name as he climbed out of his car seat. It always brought a smile to her face when she saw that little boy, Jax's clone, hoping one day he would call her mom. Tara had done such a great job at raising him, for which she was grateful, but Abel was still hers and she wanted to do all she could to make up for the years she spent being the selfish junkie that had nearly killed her own flesh and blood. She would spend her whole life making it up to him and she still couldn't get over the fact that her ex-husband had chosen to tell their child who his first mommy was. She stepped over and took his hand as he reached out for her, the excitement in his blue eyes as a dog went running after a small flock of sheep off in the distance.

"Let's go see what else there is, Abel. Maybe we can find some other animals."

"Yea!" He smiled up at her before hurriedly leading her away from the car, leaving Nero to collect Thomas from his car seat, still half asleep.

Wendy was glad Jax had suggested she and the boys go out to the farm with Nero and his boy. It was like a vacation from the choking, suffocating environment that was Charming. It may have been her home since she was seventeen, but all of us need to get away from home once in awhile and recharge ourselves. Wendy wasn't even sure she cared to go back home, but she knew she couldn't avoid work for too long and Abel couldn't be away from school too much longer. Maybe she would call Jax later and check if all was well in Charming in case there was some messy club shit he didn't want the boys witnessing in some way or another. She didn't want Abel or even Thomas to see too much of the violence she knew Jax lived every day.

The morning after arriving at the farm, Wendy sat at the kitchen table, drinking her coffee as she listened to Abel and Thomas playing in the other room with Nero's son. Nero stood by the stove, finishing cooking a pan full of bacon and eggs for the boys for their breakfast. With a glance at her cell phone sitting on the table top, she rose to refill her mug.

"I think I might call Jax later and check in with him." She glanced at Nero as he moved the pan from the flame, shutting off the stove. He quickly jerked his head in her direction. "I think you need to give him a little more time, Wendy."

Her brows knit into a frown as she replaced the decanter of coffee back into its spot and reached for the sugar sitting on the counter. "Why? Jax would want to know everything's ok with the boys. I'm surprised he hasn't even called yet."

"I don't think that's such a good idea right now, Wendy." He said. She stirred in the sugar she had dumped into the steaming coffee in her mug, lifting her eyes in Nero's direction. He quickly looked away, moving to grab a bowl for the three bowls as the volume in the living room rose. She rose a brow, leaving her coffee on the counter as she found her hand on her hip. "What the hell is going on, Nero? Why is everything so quiet between you and Jax?"

"It's not something you need to worry about right now, Wendy. When we get back to Charming, then we can worry about Jax. Right now you're here with your boy and that's who you need to worry about."

Wendy was about ready to argue with Nero over this—over Jax and his boys—but she knew he was right. Jax was a big boy and he didn't need to be fussed over. It's not like she had much claim over him other than having a son with him, he was still only her ex-husband and she knew he still missed Tara. She knew she needed to move on, her heart needed to heal from the aching pain she felt still loving him when she had been nothing more than a means to release and comfort for him. That's just how he was.


	2. Chapter 2

Another day or two at the farm passed before Wendy and Nero decided to pack their bags back up in the car and head back home to Charming. Wendy knew that Abel needed to get back to school after missing so much already between club business Jax needed to shelter him from and the ordeal with the social workers. She knew he may be held back after the hell of a year he had already, but she wanted normal for her son again and a part of her knew it's what Jax wanted too.

Wendy found herself dozing, leaning against the cool glass of the window, as Nero pulled into the parking lot of Teller-Morrow. He pulled up beside his car to allow him quick access as all three boys slept soundly in the backseat of the car. With a start, she stretched in her seat, glancing around outside as the mechanics working at the shop that quiet afternoon went about their business—none she noticed seemed to be SAMCRO members, which seemed a bit unusual for Teller-Morrow. She didn't even see Gemma's Lincoln sitting in the parking lot. Something wasn't right, but the thoughts quickly dissipated. Nero and Wendy both climbed from their seats in the car and transplanted Lucius to his father's car, hoping they wouldn't disturb the young Teller boys.

"Thanks for the trip, Nero." Wendy said. A gentle smile appeared at her lips as she looked up into Nero's dark eyes, a brief twinkle in his eye as he returned her smile.

"I should thank you for coming along, Wendy. You and the boys. I should get going though. Got some stuff to do." He said. Wendy glanced back over her shoulder at her and Jax's boys, still sleeping, undisturbed in the back seat. "I should get these sleepy heads home too. They'll be excited to see their dad."

Nero's smile seemed to fade as Wendy mentioned Jax bringing a brief, yet familiar pang of worry back to her heart. With a nod she turned and climbed in behind the wheel of her car, turning the key still in the ignition.

It wasn't long before Wendy was turning down the street leading her to Jax's house—the house her and Jax had once shared as a married couple. Now she was merely the nanny, but she had found peace in Jax's decision to tell their son who his first mommy was, bringing a smile to her face as she found herself missing him. The one man she still loved in the deepest part of her heart despite the stormy past they had between the two of them.

Wendy managed to gather both Thomas and Abel from their car seats without too much fuss from either, realizing she was finally starting to get a hang of this mommy thing, even if only a little late. Abel took his mother's hand as Thomas rested his head on her shoulder, his feathery blond hair tickling her chin as she walked up to the front door of the house.

The overwhelming feeling of something out of place hit her almost as soon as the three of them stepped foot inside the quiet house. It may have been the middle of the day, but Wendy noticed that the faint scent of Jax's cigarettes had faded from the air. Abel took off running down the hall towards his room as Wendy made her way through the house, following him right down the hall towards Jax's bedroom, that sinking feeling in her heart delayed only for the moment.

The bedroom appeared untouched, the blankets and comforter over the surface still tucked neatly into place. If Jax had been sleeping at home, he would not have taken the time to make the bed as she had. Her heart skipped a beat as she began to wonder where Jax was, hoping that maybe he had just been sleeping at the clubhouse, unable to sleep in a quiet, empty house. Why hadn't he called her then? Why hadn't Jax called to check on his boys? Her heart began to sink in her chest, her pulse quickening with worry. Jesus Christ she hoped Thomas didn't catch her mood too easily.

"Let's go see what your brother is doing. Maybe we can go play with him…" Wendy said her voice soft as she tried to mask the worry from the young boy still tucked in against her hip. She bit down on her lip as the worry attempted to bring itself to the surface.

She carefully placed Thomas on the floor of Abel's room, leaving the boys to play as she left to calm her worry, her doubts. She couldn't let this get this best of her when she didn't even know what was going on, but still she found her hands trembling as she pulled out her cell phone, looking through her recent calls for Nero's number.

The phone rang as she made her way to the kitchen, planting herself in a chair at the table, Jax's ash tray still sitting on the surface. She lowered her eyes to the floor as she heard Nero finally pick up.

"What's going on with Jax, Nero? Why haven't I heard from him yet? He should have at least called by now to check on the boys. What the hell aren't you telling me?" She said glancing up towards the doorway to the hall. "It's been four days."

"Wendy, you need to calm down for a second. This isn't something we should be talking about over the phone." Nero said. Wendy felt her heart sink into the pit of her stomach, nearly causing her heart to stop as a flood of fear and worry washed over her. The sick feeling in her stomach brought the sting of tears to her eyes.

"Nero…what's happened to Jax?"

Thomas and Abel were in bed before Nero showed up at the front door, the sun long since set off in the horizon, but the sick feeling coursing through Wendy hadn't gone away. Not even a hot mug of tea helped the feeling disappear. She could see the concern as it glittered in his eyes the moment she pulled the front door open.

"You're gonna need to sit down for this, Wendy." He said.

"Stop avoiding my questions and just tell me what happened to Jax! Enough of this bullshit!"

Nero narrowed his gaze and took a deep breath, the concern still heavily present in his dark eyes. He told her everything; he told her what he knew about Tara and Gemma, about the houses and the garage going to her. He told her some of the last words Jax had spoken to him, claiming himself to be a criminal and monster, and that he wanted his own sons to hate the thought of him.

"He's gone, Wendy. And I don't think he's coming back." He said the brim of his eyes filled with the warmth of tears. Anger and hurt flooded through Wendy, but most of all she didn't understand. Jax loved his boys. She couldn't even bring herself to ask the question she knew the answer to—had Jax killed his own mother? Wendy had been connected to the club long enough to understand the revenge the club sought for the amount of damage Gemma brought to the club. A part of her didn't want to believe it and wasn't sure she could even accept it.

"Jax wouldn't just _leave_ his boys behind…"


End file.
